It started like any other day – an essential oil here, an essential oil there.  I was cleaning out used bottles & lavender sat apart from the others. Not to waste a drop, I always tip the bottle into my hand.  With lavender, I got a palm full. What?! Laughing I slathered it on my face, my feet, the cut on my knee, my head – every exposed part of my body to disseminate it.  It’s great for skin, I reasoned. I was momentarily frozen. It didn’t really smell like lavender….then I remembered, I had put a little forgive in that empty bottle. I smiled – what’s a little overdose of forgiveness.  A second later, I was horror struck – wait a minute, I wasn’t ready to forgive everyone – not just yet! Surely, it didn’t work that way…..?

Shortly thereafter, I headed out to get a pumpkin spice latte’ & the mail.  Wham! I ran into Diana who had promised me a PhD slot then gone south. Usually I would have gone the other way but not today.  I initiated a lively conversation – ok so I guess I was ready to forgive her. Maybe this wasn’t going to be all bad – I left the shop with a smiling heart & coffee.  Bam! I ran into my hideous former neighbor who had trespassed, cursed at, tried to run me off the road. Wait!!! I’m not ready to forgive him…..too late. There I was smiling & wishing happy holidays……stop me!!!  I just gave him an extra package of fudge I had in my car for his family. Seriously I do not believe I was ready to let go of that transgression. On reflection, I did feel a little more lighthearted….

My eyes roll back into my head – here comes my ex-in-laws who didn’t like me much when I was part of their family – I was either too liberal, too female or didn’t eat my meat raw.  Now this was going too far to expect that I forgive their name calling behind my back. Seriously! Someone needs to wipe this silly grin off my face as I walk toward them with my hand outstretched.  I look around hoping that a car will hit me or a dog will bite me to snap me out of this forgiveness trap. Are “those” words coming out of my mouth? I try to stop but forgive has gotten hold of me & all I can do is hold on for the ride.  I have to get to the safety of home immediately. I think I have reached the forgive threshold.

OH NO!!!  Here comes my ex.  The rat bastard that took my dignity & my voice.  I am NOT ready to forgive him, no way! Argh, I’m hugging him & smiling at his new wife – poor thing.  Stop the madness! Trying to hold onto the anger…..it’s slipping away. Curse you, forgive!

Shaking my head & feeling a little off kilter, I look in the rearview mirror.  There was still one person to forgive. This person would be the hardest of all but suddenly I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude & love for that person – she had become who she was despite the Dianas’, the in-laws & the poor relationships.  Maybe there was something to this forgiveness stuff after all.

My wish for you this new year is that you overdose on forgive!