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Sticks and stones may break our bones, but words will leave lasting scars

JANUARY  31, 2020   |  BY LESLIE CAPPS

I recently heard a sermon about the stones we carry with us and the stones we lob at others. Yes, he was talking about words. The words we speak to ourselves, the words others speak to us and the words we speak to others. Many times, those words follow us like a faithful dog for a lifetime which is great if they are positive, empowering words. How often does that happen, right? 

 

Those negative stones get lodged in our hearts and no amount of dynamite can shake them loose. Do you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders? You’re probably dragging around a whole truckload of stones. 

 

Let’s think about a stone that lays heavily in the pit of your stomach. Unworthiness is a common one for many people. Have you ever wondered where that feeling came from? We’re certainly not born with unworthiness. You have only to spend a short time with a young child to know they have no feelings of unworthiness. We were once carefree, joyful youngsters – where did that little person go?

 

Words of unworthiness were spoken to us by others and we chose to hold onto them until they have become our truth. They have evolved into our belief system. We never question these beliefs, but they hold us back from being, doing and achieving. If we do attempt something new or outside the box, our mind is quick to say “you can’t do that” keeping us a prisoner of doubt and inadequacy.

 

No one wakes up in the morning, thinking “I’m going to be a jerk today”. Yet a bad day at the office or a bad life, can make people become a spewing volcano of mean words. How often do we let that volcanic mess into our lives? Either turning around and spewing our own mess at others or shrinking off, feeling bad about ourselves and life, in general. Those stones are added to the pile dragging us down. 

 

Hey, you’re not alone. I’ve been a spewing volcano. Somehow, we justify (usually unconsciously) in our heads that because we are hurting, it’s ok to puke that pain onto others. It never makes us feel better. When someone called me out, it brought me up short. I couldn’t even admit that I hadn’t been spewing but it did make me realize that I needed to make some changes and quickly. 

  • I needed to work on the relationship with myself. 

  • I needed to reexamine my belief system and identify the stones I was carrying around.  

  • I needed to protect my energy and not let other erupters steal my happiness.

  • I needed to distance myself from known erupters and not lob pain back at them or others. 

Have you ever said any of these things about yourself? Do you even listen to yourself anymore? Is it just an endless tape that plays the same song over and over? 

  • I can’t do that, I’m not ________________.

  • I tried that once and failed. I’m no good at ____________________.

  • Someone told me I’m ______________ so now I’m _______________.

Every day is a chance to release stones and rewrite your story. For today, think about the things you say about yourself as well as the words you speak aloud to others. We’re all on this journey called life. Let’s try to encourage, help each other heal and not add any more stones to the mountain that already exists.    

No one wakes up in the morning thinking "I'm going to be a jerk today.


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